ITCHY AND SCRATCHY

So I'm having a problem. A REALLY BAD PROBLEM.

Last weekend, I woke up one morning with bug bites all over my face and neck. They were mostly on my jaw and neck, but there was a nice big cluster of them on my right temple. They itched like a motherfucker, and nothing--NOTHING--made the itching any better. I tried all manner of cremes and sprays and soaps and nothing worked. I've pretty much been riding it out for the last week, barely hanging on to my sanity.

Okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration. BUT IT STILL FUCKING SUCKS!!!

I look like I've had an explosion of acne all over my neck. It's nasty.

The worst is that periodically, my face would go all red and hot and rashy. It would go away after a while, but there's nothing like feeling like you're having a hot flash or something.

So, today, or actually Sunday, it felt like it was finally going away. My face didn't itch at all, my neck wasn't nearly as bad...finally, a respite.

Until this morning. About 1:30am I awoke, and I could swear I felt like I was getting bit on the cheek. And sure enough, I go downstairs to the bathroom, and there's an enormous welt growing on the side of my face. It feels like it's on fire.

Great.

So I run back upstairs, turn on the light, and turn my pillow over. I check the sheets. Nothing. We just CHANGED the sheets, earlier today, BECAUSE OF THIS SORT OF THING. And I'm still getting bit.

Was it a spider? Fleas? BEDBUGS!?!?!? Whatever it is, it's not attacking The Husband. Or if it is, he's not having nearly as bad a reaction to it as I am.

So I'm going back upstairs to wash my face again. I'm going to put some more calamine lotion on. And I'm probably going to stick in The Poseidon Adventure, because I sure as hell ain't getting to sleep now.

Fucking fuck fuck.